Around and around we go through the holidays landing on, “What do I want 2017 to be for me?”
Operative being …. for me.
You know by now that I am obsessed with how to make ME better so that my life can be healthier, healing, and better for those around me.
I love the simplicity of Gretchen Rubin’s A-Ha, “One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy myself.”
This only works if your happiness is real. Faking happiness doesn’t work here, especially for those close to us. (And yes, even your patients know when you are faking it.)
Happiness is elusive and complicated. But we all know that happiness is embedded in our emotions. So that’s where I started years ago.
As the New Year descends upon us, let me mention two things I’ve learned that are kicking up clarity, joy and magic for me.
- The Magic of Self-Talk
- Being in Touch with & Knowing Our Emotions is EVERYTHING
Our emotions are at the root of all that is meaningful in life. We know this.
- Our health- Mind-Body science shows us this.
- Our healing- Being in sync with our purpose leads us there.
- Our work- Feeling authentic connection with our patients brings meaning to us.
- Our relationships- Feeling love for those around us is our salvation
But how do we get in touch with our emotions?
Where do we start?
I Started with Self-Talk.
Self-Talk is the Path.
Self-talk is our tool/ our friend/ our gift / our muse (?) within each of us.
Your self-talk is telling you which emotions are dominating your life.
We are often not aware of which emotions are dominating our thoughts, behaviors, actions.
Self-talk is our mirror to our inner thoughts, etc.
Self-talk is our entry point, the door, to self-awareness, self-discovery and growth.
Self-Talk is that automatic, constant and often negative dialogue in our heads. It’s an incessant stream of thoughts and messages, all from our past. These are memories, reactive patterns, emotions, defenses, etc. This self-talk is driven by emotions.
And Our Emotions…..?
I needed a visual to give me clarity on this one.
Our emotions have the energy force and power of an elephant. And our logical mind has the power of a rider trying to guide that elephant.
The rider is driven by logic. The elephant is motivated by emotions.
I have learned that if my emotions are not engaged in the right direction, my good intention is NOT going to happen.
You can see that a rider would be exhausted trying to guide an elephant whose emotions are not engaged. This is a metaphor for the same energy within us. Feelings always have a much bigger energy force than our minds.
I was exhausted until I started to listen to my self-talk and began to become more sensitive and loving to my feelings and emotions.
This opened up my path to ME…. And many brighter years to come for all those around me.
Happy New Years to Each of You
and to Brighter Years to Come
Rubin G. The Happiness Project, Updated. New York: Harper; 2015.