Do you believe that the way you feel and act is directly related to the events that have happened in your life or work?
Do you get caught up in blaming these events for the outcomes and results in your life or work?
Then you can benefit from a practice that I created for myself.
Call it –> Response Ability
First of all,
the above ways of thinking stop us in our tracks… and limit our growth and health.
The reality is that every outcome we experience in life or work is a result of how we responded, not from the events themselves.
Know this: E + R = O Event + Response = Outcome
Events are external and we don’t always have control of these.
Responses, however, are all on us. These are internally driven and we have 100% control of these.
Responses come in 3 forms:
- Our thoughts
- Our visual images
- Our actions
So if you don’t like an event or outcome that is happening in your life or work and you want to change the outcome,
the Only option you have is to change your responses, that is your thoughts, images and actions.
This is Response Ability.
So when I feel a negative emotion and I want to be thoughtful about my responses, I know that I have to stop, think and ….
Turn My Emotions Into Facts
I ask myself:
- Where did this come from?
- What is the thought or image that triggered this emotion, feeling or gut grip?
- Is the thought or image true?
- What makes me certain that it is true?
- Is this thinking helpful to others or ME?
- How do I want to respond? What is best for ME?
- Who would I be without this thinking?
I find that if I consider what is best for ME first in this process, my response to others is more authentic and relaxed.
These steps do 2 things, actually many things:
- Grows self awareness
- Opens self discovery
- Relieves anxiety immediately
- Exposes fear
- Gives options…
And Helps Expand My Response Ability
I like this way of being and responding better. It helps me see things more broadly and allows me more response options.
- Canfield J. The Success Principles: How To Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be. 10th anniversary edition. New York: Harper Collins Publishers; 2015.
- Byron Katie. The Work of Byron Katie. @thework.com.