Remember the Love or Fear Mantra Practice? Where in each moment in life we can consciously choose either Love or Fear? This helps us bring ourselves back into Love when we find ourselves not feeling Love in the moment?
Well, I was put to the test this weekend! And I’m still dealing with my aftermath.
I witnessed a person exhibit ill will towards another.
I could not choose Love in that moment. NO …. Love was Not my first choice in that moment! So then what?
For review: Jean Watson instructs that there are 4 heart-centered lessons or human tasks to be applied when Love is not the choice in the moment. These are Surrender, Forgiveness, Overcoming Fear, Gratitude
When it happened, my mind scrambled …. What is this? What can I do? What should I do?
I took a breath… I could feel my heart and head pounding.
I wanted to react with anger, …. oh boy, did I … But fear overwhelmed me… Fear of making things worse.
I hate feeling fear … I hate fear more than anger (although I know they are connected, they feel separate at such moments). I have learned that my anger just makes things escalate. Yet, I have also lived stuck in fear too often, which is not good, nor healthy.
After I caught my breath, I thought, ‘OK, Pat, I need to apply the Love vs. Fear Mantra Practice.’ Because I was not feeling love, I needed to explore one of the heart-centered tasks to get myself back into feeling Love in the moment. What is my best choice right now? I asked myself.
I chose surrender. I chose to surrender to the situation, along with extending Love to the others present. I also had a lot of Gratitude for the graciousness of those present. And I acknowledged to myself that this situation was not mine to own. All of these got me through the initial situation. Ahh, Relief. I felt better; I could feel my body chemistry shift, and I could continue to breathe and move forward with Love.
But then what? More resolution was needed. The fear lingered that this could happen again. I know that surrender laced with fear is not healthy surrender. I think that creates avoidance.
Setting boundaries is the next step to help avoid a reoccurrence. That is my next heart-centered step towards overcoming fear, and eventual forgiveness and more gratitude. The path is clear.
Note to self: Forgiveness always has to follow… eventually … because that is where deeper Love is found.
… I am learning, I am growing ….