My 2018 Resolution Is To Cry More

It’s the New Years,   an ‘In-Between’ moment in time

In-Between the inhale and the exhale of each breath,

In-Between the daytime and nighttime at twilight,

The gloaming- a Scottish term for after the sun has gone down and before the sky is completely dark.

These are contemplative moments of what has passed and what is to come with all the emotions and anticipation that come with it.

   These moments often bring tears. It’s the purity of these moments that touch something deep within me.  

It’s nature telling us that no matter what is happening in our lives, she is cradling us forward. 

As adults, we rarely have opportunities to feel cradled.  I think that’s why I tear up when I allow myself to feel cradled.   There’s a connection so deep, so primal that it triggers tears.

A Word on Tears and Crying from “The Science of Crying” (Time, 2016)

  • Animals tear, but only humans’ tears are triggered by their feelings
  • One explanation of tears is that it is a survival mechanism. Tears trigger social bonding and human connection.  While most other animals are born fully formed, humans are born physically unequipped to deal with anything on their own. Even though we get physically and emotionally more capable as we mature, grownups never quite age out of the occasional bout of helplessness. “Crying signals to yourself and other people that there’s some important problem that is at least temporarily beyond your ability to cope,” says Jonathan Rottenberg
  • Where we adults are good at trying to hide our emotions, tears are a signal that others can see. That insight is central to the newest thinking about the science of crying. “Tears are of extreme relevance for human nature,” says Vingerhoets. “We cry because we need other people.”
  • “There must have been some point in time, evolutionarily, when the tear became something that automatically set off empathy and compassion in another. Actually being able to cry emotionally, and being able to respond to that, is a very important part of being human.” says Trimble.
  • Myth exists that it’s an emotional and physical detox, “like it’s some kind of workout for your body,” Rottenberg says.  There is no evidence that less crying is associated with poorer health.
  • One study showed that people who cried less were more withdrawn in general.
  • Another study – When Vingerhoets and his colleagues showed people a tearjerker and measured their mood 90 minutes later instead of right after the movie, people who had cried were in a better mood than they had been before the film. “Once the benefits of crying set in, he explains, it can be an effective way to recover from a strong bout of emotion.”

I do love to cry. I love the feeling of tears. My tears don’t comes often. I think that’s my self-protective mechanisms in play. But as I become more aware, more mindful of my feelings in moments like these, I know there are secrets within that are cradling me forward, calling me to heal.

Tears mean that I have struck a chord of honesty and authenticity within myself.

Tears mean cradling vulnerability within myself.

Tears mean that I have connected with a feeling at the root cause level.

Tears mean healing in that moment.

Happy New Year To You 

May You Feel Cradled

In-between the Year End and the New Year

May You Feel Tears, or not


The Science of Crying.   By    Mandy Oaklander Neuro biologist  March 07, 2016 issue of  TIME.
image courtesy of David McClendon

One thought on “My 2018 Resolution Is To Cry More

  1. Marc Alex says:

    Excellent article. Thank you for sharing.

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