Learning to Love My Internal Beast

As I stretch and grow, I’m increasingly aware of my Internal Beast…


In my ongoing research of life lessons and tools for myself and all nurses, I repeatedly find myself back in leadership writings and research.

This tells us that …

there are many leaders, to include CEOs, CNOs, COOs, Presidents, Administrators, Directors, etc. who are just like everyone else.

They are… trying to harness their Internal Beast,

trying to think, do and say the right things to inspire those around them to grow and do the right things for their customers, patients, teammates, etc.


The Internal Beast research and lessons revolve around self-esteem, self-confidence, self-awareness, self-doubt, etc. and how we respond to situations based on our levels of these self-concepts.

The Aha’s these leaders are learning is that it does not matter if they are the smartest or are right about the trends or markets, etc. if they cannot connect well with those they work with.

And That’s the Same For Nurses. Saving peoples’ lives, preventing injuries, and providing care are important … but it isn’t the same depth of experience if you cannot create opportunities to connect deeply with your patients and others as you practice.


It’s harnessing the Internal Beast that frees all of us up to be our better selves and to engage more with others.

This growth is fundamentally good for ANY ADULT…. Especially for those of us who have a deep impact on others on a daily basis.   ….. Leaders, Nurses, Physicians, and others ….

As I stretch and grow, I’m increasingly aware of my Internal Beast… and that beast is kicking up a storm as I get further into my business as a solopreneur with Saving Nurses.

Of course I feel threatened in this new line of work. I am a person who has always been employed by organizations, so I’m wrestling with my self-confidence.


And this is what I’m experiencing…

I am confident

(OK, I’ve done some good things in my career)


I have self-doubt

(OK, I have not done those good things as well as I would have liked …)

So my Self Talk takes me to, “Who do you think you are?”

(Really?I swear that this self-talk is straight from my childhood teachers!)

Growing, trying new skills, or trying to redefine yourself always involves an inward wrestling match with your Internal Beast.

Taking on the Internal Beast is not a neutral endeavor… and I am feeling it!


Yet at the same time, I am reaffirming to myself that this is normal … for CEOs, nurses, others who are stretching and growing… and me.

One magical lesson and tool that I have learned in my research is the power of having a Growth Mindset. This Growth Mindset poses a good chance to beat out my Internal Beast every time in rears its head.

Here’s how it works –

The Growth Mindset is the belief that we can all cultivate our basic qualities –

our intelligence, our skills, our character –

through effort.  

As my Growth Mindset develops and gains strength ( … in progress),


My Desire to KEEP LEARNING Will BECOME SO STRONG that I Won’t Need to rely on Self-Confidence. WOW…this is a revelation for me since I was raised to think self-confidence was a critical survival skill. 

As I grow , I can learn to love my Internal Beast.

Dweck CS. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Ballantine Books; 2006.

2 thoughts on “Learning to Love My Internal Beast

  1. Katherine says:

    Love this – thank you for sharing!

    1. pmcclendon says:

      Yes. You’re Welcome.

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